Custom Wars

Frankly, there's a fair amount of stuff that's appeared here that I learned about via the Nerd Approved site.  In one case, I got the picture of a Star Trek cat tree from there.  Soon, I found pictures of a TARDIS cat fort in my jealous trolling of the TARDIS Builders forum.  And I thought, hey, here's something Nerd Approved hasn't done.  So, for some unfathomable reason, I waited a little while before doing a post that featured both cat trees.  And then it turned out they did the TARDIS cat fort the same day.  As Charlie Brown would say, *sigh*.

But this time, I feel pretty safe.  Back in August, Nerd Approved did a post featuring some gorgeous custom action figures of characters from the original Star Wars, re-imagined with the sensibility of the '30s and '40s science fiction serials which inspired George Lucas in the first place.

But they really only scratched the surface.  Sillof, who created those figures, is multitalented, and didn't stop (or start) with the idiom of classic serials.  Behold, with his kind permission, not just Cecil-3000 from Serial Wars...

If this were a Republic serial, of course, they'd just have painted a Volkite gold.

...but Rust-bucket from Steam Wars...

I'm imagining a 16mm projector noise when he shows the Princess's message.

...Detective Dante Victor from Noir Wars...

"I find yer lack'a fait' distoibing."

...Boran Fayne of Long Ago and Far Away...

"Ni!"

...Hank Solomon from West Wars...

"Damn those beans.  I've got the Kessel Runs."

...Princess Layu Oganata from Samurai Wars...

"Take one more step, and this goes right in my stomach."

...and 1st Lt. Chuck Backer of World Wars!

"I ain't gettin' in no plane, Murdock!"

Hell, and this is just one from each set.  He even has a set where he doesn't restrict himself to one idiom, but mixes and matches to create his own new take on the classic designs.

And besides all this, he has custom dioramas of classic scenes from the original trilogy, beautiful yet frugal re-creations of props from Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Star Trek.  And much, much more, as the commercials say.  If you want to ooh and ahh, and feel really, really jealous (although that may just be me), you owe it to yourself to check out this site.

All images above copyright © 2011 Sillof.  Used by permission.  All characters and related materials are trademark, copyright, and/or registered trademarks of their respective license holders and/or owners.

A Tale of Four('s) Scarves

Right, now you have your Fourth Doctor hat, it's time for the most famous part of the ensemble: the scarf.

But it's not quite as simple as that.  Did you know there were four different scarves used during Tom Baker's seven-year tenure as the Doctor?  And that one of them was chopped down three successive times, combined with another, and finally rearranged and given patches and new tassels?

(That would be the original scarf, by the way, cut down following the taping of "The Sontaran Experiment" (1975), again following "Revenge of the Cybermen" (1975), and yet again after "The Seeds of Doom" (1976).  A duplicate was made for "The Android Invasion" (1976) for a fight scene between the Doctor and his evil doppelgänger.  That scarf and the original were then combined at the start of Season 16 (1978) to form one enormous scarf.  This was finally rearranged and repaired for the unfinished story "Shada" (1979), made its televised premier in repurposed footage from that story in "The Five Doctors" (1983), and last appeared on the show worn by Ace in "The Greatest Show in the Galaxy" (1988).  I told you it wasn't simple.)

Where can you go to find out exactly which scarf, in exactly what configuration, was used in your favorite Fourth Doctor story?  (And if you say it's "The Talons of Weng-Chiang," where he doesn't wear his scarf, I'm going to slap you.)

You can go to the Doctor Who: The Scarf website, at the conveniently intuitive URL http://www.doctorwhoscarf.com.

The site contains diagrams of the various scarves, in their various guises.  To the left is the original version, seen only in "Robot" and "The Sontaran Experiment."  The numbers represent the number of rows.  (The story in between, "The Ark in Space," was actually taped after "Sontaran," meaning that, as seen on television, the Doctor's scarf lost the grey section marked "44" at left, grew it back, then lost it again.  Maybe the Doctor's wardrobe regenerates, too.  We know his buccaneer boots turned into shoes between "Logopolis" and "Castrovalva."  But I digress.)

For those wanting to create their own scarves, there are also best and alternate choices for wool to match the color and texture of the real thing(s), some knitting instructions regarding stitch, how to change colors, and how to make the tassels.

To see that his instructions are accurate, check out his section of photos of his own work, including one of his Season 16 scarf next to the genuine article (as it were).  And when you're done, your photo can join the gallery of user-created scarves.

If you're like me (and, as always, if you are, I'm so, so sorry), you can wear the scarf your grandmother knitted you in 1983 from the "official" BBC pattern (based on the Season 13 duplicate... although now that I compare my scarf against the chart, either the pattern left out two grey sections, or my grandmother did), or the Season 18 scarf you bought on eBay in 2008, and just revel in all the nerdy informational goodness.

The Trilby of a Time Lord

photo from bbc.co.uk

Have you ever wanted a hat like the one Tom Baker wore during his first six years on Doctor Who?  Sure, we all have.  I, personally, have been jonesing for one for 31 years.

But how to get one?  Surely you can't just go grab one off the shelf at the local K-Mart.  (The "K," unfortunately, does not stand for "Kasterborous.")  And making one to order would be prohibitively expensive, yes?

No.  "Penwiper," on Pyrdon Academy's Doctor Who costuming forum, shows you how you can make one yourself for less than $20.

And what do you need to get started, making the headgear of that quintessentially British hero with the unshakably Edwardian dress sense?

Why, naturally, a cowboy hat.

Windshield roadkill pigeon optional.

I can't describe the process in full.  (That would be stealing, and Lord knows that's not what the Internet is for, right?  Right?)  And why bother when you can follow the link above, and see it for yourself, along with copious numbers of helpful photos.  But suffice it to say that with some clipping, soaking, brushing, bashing, ironing, and sewing, you too can have a hat you'll be proud to travel time and space in.  Just watch out for that automatic security system when you visit Nerva Beacon.

Change, my dear.  And it seems not a moment too soon.

If Your Cats Are Science Fiction Nerds, Too...

...here's how to thrill them beyond measure.  If they're not, however, they will disdain you and puke in your shoes.  But you're probably safe.  It's a well-known fact that cats made up 28% of the audience of Enterprise by the fourth season.

Still, considering how obsessed most cats are with appearing dignified (in between bouts of cleaning their butts with their tongues), they will probably just claim to like these "ironically."  They will also insist you use the term "speculative fiction" in referring to their interest.

Get back, Trekkie cat

(Imgur via Blastr via Nerd Approved)

Now, this wouldn't interest my cats.  Not even the Reliant one that I'm tempted to buy and lie on myself.  You see, Charlotte and Emily are Doctor Who fans.  They watch K-9 blowing up at the beginning of "The Leisure Hive," and they just laugh and laugh.

Kaylee the cat showed a decided interest in the 1/6 scale TARDIS her owner domestic help was building.

The original version of "The Mind Robber, Episode 1" was much more horrifying.

Accordingly, he next made a step up to 1/2 scale to give her the cat fort of her dreams.

She's not blurry here, she's in a state of quantum indeterminacy.

Not actually bigger on the inside.  But it is more furnished than most versions of the TARDIS.

(via TARDIS Builders)

Charlotte and Emily want me to build them one, but not one like this.  They're original series fans.  Right now, they're rolling on the floor, biting each other's neck over the issue of whether I ought to build them a Brachacki box, or a Tom Yardley Jones.

We Goin' Ridin' on the Freeway of Love in Our Ford Nucleon

If you want to come down with a serious case of car envy, check out this photo gallery of the Top 10 Concept Cars of the Fifties.  Okay, it was posted over a year ago, so I'm probably the eighty grazillionth person to link to it, but there's nothing quite so timeless as yesterday's tomorrows.  Or something.

The GM Firebird II was designed to drive on our inevitable automated highways.  Really.

Seriously, though, wouldn't it be cool to have a Lincoln Futura or a GM Firebird II, just so people could stare at you as you went stylin' down the highway?  In fact, the Lincoln Futura was so stylin' that the producers of the 1960's Batman TV series used one as the basis for their Batmobile.

Batman and Robin in disguise.  Not to catch a crook; just because it makes them feel special.

I think maybe the most attractive, in a quieter way, is the Chrysler K-310.  The Dodge Firearrows, meanwhile, remind me of electric razors.

The stylin' Chrysler K-310.  And who cares what you think?

But by far the most alarming is the Ford Nucleon, which fortunately never got any farther than a scale design model.  Yes, motor to work or play in the car with a freakin' nuclear reactor in the back.  Most people can't keep their oil maintained.  What hope this?  They could call breakdowns "The Detroit Syndrome."

"You're upset 'cause I'm late?!  My car had a meltdown, and now I can't have children!"

Degradation of the Daleks

Diagram of the Dalek props as used in "Resurrection of the Daleks" (1984)

Here's a website which perfectly embodies the dedication, curiosity, attention to detail, and general weirdness of we science fiction enthusiasts.

Called Dalek6388, it follows the history of the Dalek props used in the original Doctor Who series from their inaugural appearance in the series' sixth episode, "The Survivors," in 1963, to their swansong in "Remembrance of the Daleks, Part Four" in 1988.  Along the way, it also handles Daleks constructed for the two movies starring Peter Cushing, the play Curse of the Daleks, and for publicity purposes.

In the graphic above, for instance, we see that the four Daleks scraped together to menace Peter Davison in "Resurrection of the Daleks" (1984) consisted of the following: the top of a 1963 Dalek on a base produced for "The Chase" (1965) from the molds made for the film Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965); the top of a Dalek built for "The Dalek Invasion of Earth" (1964) on an odd, almost-symmetrical base from a Dalek built for exhibition purposes; the top that originally went with the aforementioned base from "The Chase" on a wooden base (as opposed to the fiberglass of the others) originally built for "Planet of the Daleks" (1973) purely as a crowd-filling extra; and the top from that base, on the base of the other "Dalek Invasion of Earth" build.

So you can see it's kind of a complex story.  The site's creators spent many hours freeze-framing videos and carefully examining photographs to uncover characteristic differences between the props, and are able to give us a complete, highly readable, lavishly illustrated account of how they (the Daleks, not the authors) were used, given away, borrowed, stolen, broken, repainted, mismatched, repaired (or not), and generally abused over the course of a quarter-century.  (As I was amazed to find out, the top of one of the Daleks used in "Remembrance" in 1988 came from the original set of four, built in 1963, and survives to this day.  So do the collars and base of another 1963 Dalek, but for some reason, they last saw use in the series in 1967 and 1975, respectively.)  In the process, the authors come to some new conclusions (such as that the Daleks made for Curse went on to appear in the second film, Daleks: Invasion Earth 2150 A.D.) and put to rest some old bits of received wisdom (such as the notion that any film Daleks were ever converted for regular use in the series).

After reading this site, with rapt attention, for about three hours, I began to wonder if I wasn't, you know, like, a nerd or something.  Fortunately, the authors end their account with this amusing and reassuring statement: "We thank you for taking the time to read any of this site, and if you feel a little bit guilty for finding it quite interesting, you can take comfort from the fact that you weren't the losers who wrote it."

But let me tell you, nerds like me should (Dalek voice) ap-pre-ci-ate (/Dalek voice) the dedication of losers like them.